Didn’t know Martini Etiquette was a thing? According to Made in Chelsea‘s self-proclaimed ‘authority on chic’, Mark-Francis Vandelli, there’s more to ordering the sophisticated drink than James Bond would have you believe.
From lipstick stains to spills, from walking with a Martini to taking a selfie with one, it turns out that the world of Martini Etiquette is a veritable minefield, simply teaming with potential faux-pas.
We were delighted, then, to sit down with Mark last week to discuss his own tips and tricks over a Martini (or three). With the help of his oh-so glamorous assistant Lucy, Mark revealed his tongue-in-cheek ‘how to’ guide, with seven ways to turn even the most uncouth cocktail lover into a sophisticated Martini master.
Here’s what he told us.
How to sound like a Martini connoisseur
“To sound like a Martini connoisseur, one should really educate themselves on the history of the Martini. Firstly, you should of course know what a Classic Martini consists of: gin and vermouth are of course the main ingredients; combined with Martini Extra Dry Vermouth and garnished with two Kalamata olives.” [Other ingredients are available. Ed]
How to sophisticatedly stand at the bar
“To maintain complete sophistication you must delicately balance confidence along with subtle charm. Firstly, don’t be afraid to make eye contact, nothing screams sophistication like the confidence to maintain a meaningful gaze from across the bar. But don’t hold this gaze for too long, there is nothing endearing about a stare.”
How to sip a Martini without getting your lipstick on the rim of the glass
“Now, despite this being one of the simplest techniques known to woman kind, in every bar, in every country I see the same mistake happen. Lipstick on the rim of a glass! Unthinkable. So, I will say this once for you ladies and once only! Dip your finger and trace it around the rim of your glass, and voila, no more stains.”
How to elegantly walk in high heels without spilling your Martini
“So, the first step towards Martini elegance is being able to sashay effortlessly through a crowded bar, without spilling your drink. Now, walk with a straight back and eyes fixed ahead, never looking at the ground.”
How to confidently style out having just spilt your Martini
“My first tip is scarves. Every self-respecting fashion icon needs an Hèrmes in her bag. God forbid your scarf is from Accessorize. In that instance, what can I say, you’re a lost cause. Now, once the spillage has occurred, you have no choice but to fashion yourself a makeshift distraction out of said scarf.
Or, casually swipe the spillage away with your foot and then walk away. Quietly under hushed breath let the bartender know that someone has humiliatingly spilt a drink and it’s a hazard if it doesn’t get cleaned up immediately.
If all else fails, blame it on the person standing next to you, roll your eyes and make a beeline for the exit.”
How to flirt effortlessly with a Martini in hand
“Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of flirting – so, when taking a sip of your Martini always ensure you briefly glance up at your potential suitor. However, don’t stare – there is a fine line between a flirtatious glance and staring into the soul of your crush, like you plan to eat them.
The position of the Martini is crucial – don’t hold your Martini close to your chest, one – it covers up your assets, and two, by holding it out to the side, it shows you to be open and inviting.
After a sip of your Martini try subtly licking your lips. Now, this tip shouldn’t be overdone, we wouldn’t want you to resemble some sort of dog licking the dregs from their food bowl.”
“Now ladies and gentlemen, if there is one lesson you take home from today, it must be this one. So pay close attention while I impart my final piece of wisdom. Everyone knows it doesn’t matter what happens in your life, it’s what happens on your Instagram that counts, so pucker up and give me your best smile.”
So there you have it! Seven easy tips that will up our Martini game, and surely make us the most stylish cocktail connoisseurs on King’s Road. Cheers, Mark!
Mark-Francis Vandelli hosted a Martini Etiquette Masterclass at Dirty Martini Hanover Square www.dirtymartini.co.uk